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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24176680">Chasing happiness.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What happiness is made of. [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Blood and Violence, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, i think, it's minor tho, not that graphic i think</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:48:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24176680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongho's mother promises that the foreign prince is a good man, tells him how good other kingdoms have spoken of Choi San, how respectful and kind he is.</p><p>Chaos ensues.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Jongho/Song Mingi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What happiness is made of. [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi, I'm finally delivering this fjdjkdkd</p><p>I birthed this chapter in the middle of the night, sleep deprived and feeling like a zombie (stan day6) so of this had any mistakes shh mind ur own business or I'm gonna cry</p><p>I had so much fun writing this so I hope you enjoy it. Also this will have maybe two or three chapters.</p><p>Much love and take care :D &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Jongho laughed wholeheartedly, loud and with his mouth fully open. His father always told him that he looked like a shark when he did that.</p><p>Now, Jongho had never seen a shark but he knew they had huge mouths and like three thousand teeth, so he was a little bit offended.</p><p>Gods, what were the chances of him being the strongest among his group of friends?</p><p>He snatched the apple from his friend’s hand and split it in half with little effort.</p><p>“See? It’s not hard!”</p><p>“It was already about to split anyways. I’m the strong one- “</p><p>“No way! Cheater!”</p><p>Jongho pulled his wooden sword out and took on a fighting stance, waiting for Christopher to do the same.</p><p>“There’s only one way to end this war…” he dramatically whispered “and that is…uh, another war?”</p><p>Christopher snorted and then became serious and somber. The guy was a great actor.</p><p>“With this sword, I will send your soul to the heavens and the gods may decide your destiny in the afterworld…” whispered Christopher, slowly rising his sword.</p><p>Jongho smirked. He was ready to fight, was always ready for something like that.</p><p>But, because the gods loved to mess with him, right before he responded to Christopher’s attack, he felt a terrible stomach cramps begin. He knelt on the ground, trying to not to whine too much.</p><p>Christopher gasped and dropped his sword, going to his aid immediately. Jongho knew that Christopher would tease him later, because it was universally well known that Prince Jongho did not whine often but when he did, he sounded like a sad puppy.</p><p>Gods, he hated it.</p><p>“Come on, let’s go back to the castle” said his friend, already pulling him up and letting him lean on him for support “It wasn’t me, right? Maybe you didn’t stretch well, maybe- “</p><p>“You didn’t hurt me, Christopher” he forced out “I think…I think I’m presenting”</p><p>Christopher stopped walking, looking at him with big eyes and then just nodded “alright, I have to take you to your room and tell your mother. You know how she always said she would take care of you?”</p><p>“Ugh, don’t remind me…”</p><p>“Yeah, well. I think she’s very sweet. She’s the queen, you know? She could make half this kingdom suck her toes if she wanted to- “</p><p>“Christopher- “</p><p>“Alright, I’ll shut up now”</p><p>Christopher proceeded to drag him through the field and finally got him to the castle. Jongho was feeling worse with every second that passed and felt a little relief when Christopher dropped him on his bed and took off his boots.</p><p>“I’ll go tell your mother, okay? Uh- don’t die?”</p><p>Jongho rolled his eyes and watched Christopher run out of his room. He was in pain but somehow also really tired, sweating like he was laying under the sun but also weirdly cold.</p><p>Whatever Jongho turned out to be, he was well informed.</p><p>He had talked with plenty of omegas and alphas about heat and rut cycles. Jongho wasn’t curious about the subject itself but he did prefer to be informed, so he could take care of himself and others well. He had begun an investigation of sorts.</p><p>Jongho fell asleep trying to figure out whether he was an alpha or an omega.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p> Jongho woke up and the first thing he saw was his mother.</p><p>She was sitting on a chair next to his bed, painting some impossibly detailed forest.</p><p>“Oh, you’re awake” she said, leaving the brush on a piece of fabric that was already all stained “did you know that you presented as an omega?”</p><p>“Okay” he simply said, sitting on the bed “should I go buy some scent blockers?”</p><p>“Already did. I made a list, actually. It had medicine for your cramps, tea that is said to relieve some of the pains coming with your heat cycles, scent blockers…everything you may need”</p><p>Jongho nodded once and touched his hot forehead, feeling a slight pain begin in his temple “what about the headaches?”</p><p>His mother laughed quietly and stood up “for that, there’s one really specific medicine. You can’t really find it anywhere”</p><p>Jongho frowned. Medicine for headaches was really everywhere. Jongho could probably go to a bakery and buy medicine from them.</p><p>His mother leaned forward and kissed his forehead.</p><p>“See? You look better already”</p><p>Jongho resisted the need to roll his eyes and just smiled at his mother. She could be unfunny but there was not a doubt that she cared for him.</p><p>And, you know what? He did feel better after that kiss. His mother didn’t have to know it, of course.</p><p>“I’ll go get you actual medicine, alright? and some tea and maybe a little bit of cake- “</p><p>“Mom, isn’t it better if we go eat cake together?”</p><p>“Isn’t it better if I bring you some cake and we eat here?”</p><p>Jongho grimaced and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn’t appreciate people doing stuff for him, it made him think that he wasn’t capable. He let out a sigh.</p><p>He knew, however, that his mother did not think of it that way. She was just being her caring, loving self.</p><p>Jongho fell back on the bed and nodded, rather reluctant “fine, I will lay here like an old man even though I am only sixteen”</p><p>“Oh, my stubborn angel. I will miss your remarks when you decide that your happiness is elsewhere”</p><p>She gently brushed his hair for a moment, her eyes so full of love and it was like she was already feeling nostalgic for the years to come, like she already missed him.</p><p>“Don’t be like this, mom…you know I’m happy here”</p><p>Jongho despised those sentimental moments, he never knew what to do and not knowing what to do made him anxious.</p><p>She straightened up with a sigh “believe me, you won’t always be. That day will come and, if it’s for the right reasons, I will support you”</p><p>“What if I decide to go because I became a savage? What if I take a like on killing and stealing?”</p><p>“Then…I’m afraid I’m not going to be capable of punishing you”</p><p>He smiled a little bit, the tension and awkwardness melting away slowly “good to know…”</p><p>“What does that exactly mean, young man?”</p><p>He laughed “nothing, nothing…”</p><p>She shook her head in disapproval, smiled and started to walk away “don’t make sudden moves and don’t get out of that bed or I’ll be mad”</p><p>“Okay” he said, rolling his eyes at her.</p><p>But Jongho had never been one to listen to anyone but himself, so he sat on his bed. He was a little bit dizzy but it was nothing bad enough to stop him.</p><p>Jongho stood up, legs feeling weak and like they may give out any minute and was capable of walking a little bit.</p><p>Just when he was reaching the door, a horrible stomach cramp began and he doubled over, falling to his knees. The world was spinning and Jongho decided that he should stay there for a second, just to recover.</p><p>He vomited all over his very expensive, very rare carpet. His dad was surely going to scold him for that.</p><p>Well…he wasn’t sure that cake would taste good mixed with the bitter taste still clinging to his tongue.</p><p>Jongho felt weak, those horrific stories his dad used to tell him were becoming a reality. He didn’t like it.</p><p>Abroad, in other kingdoms, omegas were a bag of meat, were deemed as weak or incompetent to do anything but bring children to the world. His dad had many tales of his journey as a male omega pirate.</p><p>They weren’t so nice.</p><p>Jongho had heard them all, the bitter and the scary ones.</p><p>He was an omega.</p><p>At home, he would be a prince, a warrior, a fighter. Trained, strong, respected.</p><p>And just a weak excuse of a human to the rest of the world.</p><p>It downed on him, how scared he really was, how anxious he was of the moment he decided that he wanted to explore the world.</p><p>Jongho shred a tear or two, feeling nauseous, scared and weak. But, as he heard his mother hurry to help him, Jongho promised to himself that no one would ever look at him and think of weakness and babies and worthlessness.</p><p>He would make sure of that.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Christopher was no longer having free time to spend with Jongho, as he was being especially trained to become an agent for the kingdom.</p><p>Jongho was eighteen years old, very busy with books and swords, with no time to play around with friends-</p><p>Well, Jongho let his mother think that books were as important as his sword but…were they really?</p><p>The answer was no, or Jongho wouldn’t be running out of the library in the castle, where his tutor was teaching him how to do advanced math.</p><p>Jongho knew his mother was busy with some noblemen or whatever and no one dared to interrupt her. His tutor would have no choice but to silently sulk until his mother was free to talk to him.</p><p>That day, his father would teach him how to put his muscles to good use. His abilities with daggers and swords were incredibly good but his father considered that learning how to physically overpower someone was just as useful.</p><p>Jongho liked the idea of being strong, skillful and fearless.</p><p>His father was all of that and more and Jongho had the man in a pedestal so high up the sky that he was basically sitting on a cloud with the gods.</p><p>Jongho saw his father sitting under a tree, two swords laying next to him on the grass. His father was a small man, hips wide and shoulders broad, strong legs and arms, slim waist. His skin was tan and scarred, dry at some places, rough.</p><p>That was what Jongho was aiming for.</p><p>When he looked at his dad, he saw a strong man, a man he respected more than the laws and himself. A man he adored and looked up to.</p><p>Jongho ran towards him, dropping the leather bag where his tutor made him keep the sheets of paper full of numbers he couldn’t begin to comprehend yet. Breathing heavily, he stood next to his dad.</p><p>The man looked up at him with a devil like smirk “your mother is not going to like me making you sneak out of your classes”</p><p>“It was a conscious choice, father. I don’t care about math; I’m ready to learn from you”</p><p>His father snorted and stood up from the grass, not caring about the mud staining his pants and proceeded to show him how he should deal with someone attacking him from behind.</p><p>Jongho thought he got the gist of it. He would have to work hard to build muscle in his legs, as his dad said they were very important.</p><p>He was trying to choke his dad properly when he heard someone clear their throat loudly.</p><p>“I see you’re getting better at math, son”</p><p>Jongho let go of his dad and looked up at his mother, letting out a little nervous laugh.</p><p>His mother sighed and took off her long skirt, leaving her with her pajama pants. She tied her long brown hair and took Jongho’s place choking his dad.</p><p>“Now, pay attention and see how my arm is positioned”</p><p>Jongho nodded once, determinate.</p><p>His father was probably not having the greatest of times but Jongho admired him for sacrificing himself for the sake of Jongho’s growing knowledge.</p><p>Jongho let himself take a moment to just look at his parents as they taught him how to fight. He was amused but also full of admiration, slightly scared of his mother’s strength.</p><p>It was a complicated mix of feelings but it wasn’t bad, precisely.</p><p>The day went by rather quickly and they went into the castle when the breeze got a little too cold and the grass was turning too humid to lay on. Jongho was sore all over, there was not one part of his body that didn’t hurt.</p><p>His father said that it would be like that just for a while, that his body would become accustomed to the strain of a good fight. Gods, Jongho couldn’t wait for the day his body was strong enough to endure the pain.</p><p>He went to his room and took a quick bath, changing his clothes and going down to the kitchen. He was hungry and thirsty and ready to eat all the cookies his mother had made the day before.</p><p>Jongho found his mom and dad already eating them.</p><p>They didn’t even clean themselves!</p><p>“Come here, son. I still have to scold you for running out of your classes”</p><p>Jongho huffed, sitting next to his mother. His dad handed him a cookie.</p><p>His mother rambled about his responsibilities, about math being an important part of his life and how avoiding it could get him in serious trouble in the future.</p><p>Jongho nibbled on his cookie, distracted. He only began to really pay attention when his dad began to list his weaknesses in a fight.</p><p>That was the important bit.</p><p>Jongho saw his mother roll her eyes from the corner of his eye.</p><p>“Your mother is right, though” his dad said “conditioning your brain is important, too. Don’t get too immersed on fighting and weapons, son”</p><p>Jongho lowered his head at the gentle scold. Maybe he was obsessing over physical strength a tad bit.</p><p>He heard his mother sigh “anyway, I’ve got some important news for you, Jongho”</p><p>Jongho looked up at that, at how serious she sounded. He was either in big trouble or…yeah, he was probably in big trouble.</p><p>“There’s this one prince” she began and Jongho already knew where the conversation was going “his name is Choi San. He was named the pride of the Lilith kingdom, is said to be a very kind man”</p><p>Jongho stayed silent, not really knowing what to say. He didn’t see how that man could be important for him, no matter how kind he was.</p><p>“A very hardworking alpha, respectful and social. He’s a little bit older than you but that doesn’t really matter- “</p><p>Oh. Now Jongho understood.</p><p>His body was filled with bitterness and disappointment, he felt the need to run away that moment. Jongho’s father stiffened where he was sitting, sensing the tension.</p><p>“You want me to mate him, don’t you?”</p><p>His mother frowned and opened his mouth to say something but Jongho was already yelling at them.</p><p>“Do you really want that for me? Do you want me to be a stay at home omega? That’s why you’re so adamant on me focusing more on books, right?”</p><p>Jongho could feel his throat closing up, leaving him slightly breathless. He looked at his dad with pleading eyes.</p><p>“After all the stories father has told us? After all the suffering we’ve heard about? You want me to mate the first alpha I meet!”</p><p>Jongho stood up, ready to leave.</p><p>“No, Jongho- “</p><p>“I don’t care how nice Choi San is or how well other people speak of him! I don’t care if he’s the pride of his kingdom, he won’t come here and find a pliant, weak omega!”</p><p>Jongho took a deep breath, feeling his anger burning his insides.</p><p>“If you decide to invite him…bring him here, he’ll meet nothing but my fist”</p><p>He turned around and ran out of the kitchen, not wanting to listen to whatever his parents wanted to say.</p><p>After teaching him how to defend himself, they were now planning on watching him become that omega the world expected him to be?</p><p>After telling him for years that finding an alpha was not nearly as important as finding one’s purpose-</p><p>Did his parents think of him as the rest of the world did?</p><p>The thought made his heart ache and his anger burn further.</p><p>He slammed the door of his room shut and ran to his bed, grabbing one of pillows and punching it with all his will. He shouted at the gods for making him an omega, a part of him that he had started to hate in that moment.</p><p>Jongho cried his poor eyes out for a total of ten minutes, which was what took his parents to discuss what to do and go to his room.</p><p>His door opened rather loudly and his mother stormed in, looking like she would eat him alive. His father was right behind her, serious.</p><p>“Choi Jongho, sit on that bed right now” firmly said his mother.</p><p>“You can’t- “</p><p>“Jongho, obey.”</p><p>Jongho huffed and sat on his damn bed, eyes focused on the floor in fears of finding his parent’s eyes full of disappointment casted upon him.</p><p>He heard his dad sigh and felt him move closer to sit next to him.</p><p>“I want to make you a question, son” he said, calm.</p><p>Jongho stayed silent. If he talked, he would worsen his situation and also cry and yell like crazy.</p><p>“In the future, if you meet an omega and they tell you they chose having a family over having adventures and fights…will you call them weak? Will you judge them?”</p><p>Jongho didn’t know what to do. The answer was obviously a huge no but…would he?</p><p>Jongho thought that yes, he would judge them. He would think of them as weak. Somehow, that felt worse than just blurting out a ‘no’ to calm his parents.</p><p>He chose to be honest. Jongho nodded slowly, ashamed.</p><p>“I am very offended” scolded his father.</p><p>Jongho’s eyes filled with tears.</p><p>“As an omega myself, how do you think I feel about this?” His father paused, his tone gradually gaining anger “you are belittling yourself and the rest of the omega population, Jongho”</p><p>He closed his eyes, tears falling as he sobbed.</p><p>“Bearing children is no sign of weakness nor submission. Staying at home doesn’t make you a weak omega and raising children is actually one the hardest jobs. It requires strength and patience, it requires confidence, knowledge and experience. It takes a toll on your body and your spirit”</p><p>Now, that’s something Jongho didn’t think about.</p><p>“Mating and having children isn’t a bad thing as long as it’s your choice. If you find a person that compliments you, that loves you just the way you are, if you feel ready…it’s all good”</p><p>“But…but what about all those stories you told us? You’ve lived it yourself. You’ve been called uncapable- “</p><p>His father sighed “I was hoping you would see that I did overcome that. Yes, I’ve had to knock out almost every alpha I’ve ever met to gain respect but the thing is…I shouldn’t have to. I should be respected whether I chose to stay at home or be a pirate”</p><p>His father was right. Jongho knew that, he had learned his lesson.</p><p>That didn’t make him feel less ashamed, though.</p><p>“And, just so you know” his mother began “we didn’t want you to mate Choi San”</p><p>Now, what in all burning hell did his mother say?</p><p>Jongho looked up at her with big eyes.</p><p>“It’s good that the misunderstanding led us to discussing the issue, though” interrupted his father.</p><p>She nodded “right. We wanted you to meet him and many other people. You are not stuck here; you can make friends outside of this kingdom”</p><p>Jongho frowned “I know that. I’m content with Christopher and the rest of my friends”</p><p>“Well, that’s great but you need to start creating connections. They’ll be useful once you become the king. We wanted to invite Choi San so you can become friends. There’s princess Kim Jihyo, too. Everyone says she’s very friendly”</p><p>“So, you weren’t trying to control my life…you just wanted me to make friends?”</p><p>They nodded at the same time, like they had been synchronized at birth.</p><p>Jongho covered his face in embarrassment and shame whispering over and over how sorry he was for yelling and being so quick to jump to conclusions.</p><p>His parents just hugged him, being great as always.</p><p>“It has been a long day” his father whispered “let’s all go to bed and rest, okay?”</p><p>Jongho nodded, not wanting to hold them back from getting the rest they deserved “but first…thank you for this. I was really bad for not listening to you”</p><p>His father stood up with a smile “the important thing is that you learned so much today. You learned math- more or less, you learned how to choke someone and now, you learned that this big head of yours” he poked Jongho’s forehead “has a little bit of judgement in it”</p><p>His mother poked his forehead as well “and we’ll try to punch it out”</p><p>“Also, this is obviously a well-known fact but…we love you, Jongho”</p><p>His mother nodded firmly “parenting takes a lot of love”</p><p>“Being around other people takes a lot of love”</p><p>She hummed “yes, you need to love them so you don’t snap their necks when they get annoying”</p><p>Jongho laughed, looking back and forth as his parents discussed the perks of having too little and too much patience.</p><p>“I love both of you, too”</p><p>They looked down at him and kissed his forehead at the same time. Honestly, it was getting a little bit creepy how in sync they were.</p><p>“Good night, angel” whispered his mother.</p><p>Jongho was no angel but he still smiled at her.</p><p>“Good night, son. Tomorrow morning I’ll teach you how to break someone’s arm with just a little twist” excitedly said his dad.</p><p>“I’m looking forward to it, dad”</p><p>Jongho was left in his room with a racing mind and a gradually calming heart. He did feel better after seeing that rather than getting crazy mad at him, his parents had decided to give him a piece of knowledge.</p><p>He understood now that he was part of the problem, that he was like the rest of the world. Judging omegas, thinking that if they didn’t fight and defended themselves then they were weak.</p><p>Would he help an omega in need or ask if they had children? If they stayed at home or were somewhere else in the world being warriors?</p><p>Jongho thought that…he could help. Instead of hating and judging, he could help.</p><p>And he should definitely listen to his parents before yelling and making a mess.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jongho met Choi San almost a month later.</p><p>He was exercising. Jongho had found his goal in life.</p><p>Before becoming the king, he would serve to his kingdom in another way. He would become an agent; he would gain a position of power to protect and help people.</p><p>He knew that he had a certain amount of power being the prince and all but that was his title, he was born to be the prince.</p><p>Jongho wanted to obtain something with his own bare hands.</p><p>That day, he didn’t only meet Choi San. He also met Song Mingi.</p><p>It was an embarrassing setting, honestly.</p><p>Jongho was exercising, as previously stated but it would also be good to add that he was sweating profusely, shirtless in the middle of the field, his hands covered in soil.</p><p>Not his proudest moment.</p><p>Suddenly, he could just feel eyes on him, making him stop to look around.</p><p>Then, he saw them.</p><p>Choi San was maybe his height, black shining hair slicked back, dressed in expensive looking clothing. He was smiling cutely despite his intimidating demeanor.</p><p>Next to him was a tall man. His eyes were small and his nose pointy, his front teeth were a little messed up and when he smiled, he looked a bit funny.</p><p>His smile made Jongho want to laugh.</p><p>Jongho shook the soil off his hands and stood up to pick up his shirt and put it on. He approached the brothers slowly, shyly. He was so not used to meeting new people.</p><p>“Hi, sorry if we interrupted you” said the small one “I’m San. The queen said you were here and…uh, I love to make friends?”</p><p>“I…well, I’m not used to new people but I’ll try my best” he smiled, shaking San’s hand.</p><p>Then, Jongho looked at Mingi, who was already looking at him and smiled at him, too. He figured that he should be nice to them even if he didn’t know them that well yet.</p><p>“Uh, hi. I’m Jongho, nice to meet you”</p><p>“I know. You’re all the queen talks about”</p><p>They laughed quietly, like a bunch of children hiding from their parents and Jongho quickly excused himself to go take a bath and make himself presentable to take their guests on a tour through the castle.</p><p>San was so adorable; he had this strange aura that made everything feel less awkward and intimidating.</p><p>Mingi was still more or less a mystery. The guy was funny and could build a conversation just fine but at the same time was much less willing to share his entire life. Unlike San. Jongho knew basically everything about San within the first twenty minutes into their conversation.</p><p>San was the middle child, Mingi being the youngest of the three. The older brother had gone in search of adventures very early on his life, which Jongho thought it was interesting. The oldest was usually the one that never left the kingdom.</p><p>Jongho knew that San was friends with possibly the whole world, that he was good with poetry and books, he was an unmated alpha. He realized that what others had told his mother was true, Choi San was really nice and very respectful.</p><p>But, most of all, Choi San was just a guy looking for his place in the world. He did know it left and right, from the deepest excavation to the highest mountain, had probably counted a few million stars and watched all the clouds change their shapes over and over-</p><p>Yet, what he wanted the most, was just to find his peace.</p><p>Slightly awkward and a little touched, Jongho told San to never give up. Even if he was old and wrinkly, even if he couldn’t write anymore.</p><p>San shrugged, smiling shyly “I’m not planning on publishing any of my books- yet but uh- thank you- “</p><p>“What? If you’ve never published any of your works then are you- Er- writing for yourself?”</p><p>“No, not really- “</p><p>“He’s just building the courage" interrumped Mingi “but he will. I’m always telling him to do it soon” he pointedly looked at his brother “to stop being a coward already- “</p><p>“Mingi- “</p><p>“Your books are amazing! I don’t- “</p><p>San sighed; his face was all red as he wiped his sweaty hands on his expensive clothes “uh, I’m going to the bathroom- uh- yeah, that.”</p><p>Jongho chuckled. Another thing learnt about Choi San; he was shy about his work.</p><p>He watched San go, walking away quickly and getting in one of the bathrooms. The guy had also a good memory.</p><p>Jongho turned to Mingi, offering a smile “you are not precisely the type to talk much, are you?”</p><p>Mingi shook his head with a playful smirk “San loves to talk and I just let him fill the silence. I drop a sentence or two here and there…people never notice I didn’t say much, anyway”</p><p>“Well, I noticed”</p><p>“You did, yes”</p><p>Silence followed their little conversation but…it wasn’t really awkward. Jongho just felt the need to get to know the other and not talking to Mingi made frustration bloom within him.</p><p>He looked out the window, seeing the tree where he was exercising earlier.</p><p>“What are you training so hard for?” Mingi’s voice was low and gentle, genuinely curious.</p><p>“I’m going to become an agent for the kingdom. I’m going to protect omegas here or anywhere they decide to send me”</p><p>Mingi hummed “but…aren’t you an only son? You’re the future king- “</p><p>“I know. I’m barely eighteen and it’s what I want to do for now…”</p><p>“You said protect omegas?”</p><p>Jongho looked up at the other with a frown “I did?”</p><p>Mingi laughed shortly “you did”</p><p>Jongho bit his lower lip, looking away from Mingi. Maybe he should’ve just said ‘protect people’, because he would protect everyone or try to, at least.</p><p>“It’s good, you know? Things are tough out there” said Mingi almost in a whisper “this kingdom is really well known for its agents- “</p><p>“Majority of them are omegas, did you know that?”</p><p>When his mother told him that, Jongho had felt a strange sense of pride and hopefulness.</p><p>“I do! People talk a lot about this kingdom’s agents, primarily omegas, who are not afraid to fight and are so well trained”</p><p>“Wait, really?”</p><p>“Yes. Not everyone likes it but those agents do not only fight people but prejudice, too. They are showing the world that omegas shouldn’t be so restricted to play just one role when they could play multiple and be incredible at it”</p><p>Restricted.</p><p>Jongho looked outside.</p><p>That omega who was coaxed to mate young and have a family could become a pirate. People just couldn’t let them.</p><p>Hell, his father had a family and was a well-known pirate!</p><p>He had shown the world that an omega could have their own damn family and follow their dreams all the same.</p><p>“There are some mated agents, you know?”</p><p>“And with children. How unbelievable, right?” ironically said the taller.</p><p>Silence again.</p><p>“Omegas are simply just people. People with dreams and skills and abilities, capable of learning and doing so much. Just like any alpha or beta. We’re all just people…” he mumbled more to himself, distracted “we’re all deserving of respect and love”</p><p>“I agree” quietly said Mingi “now, go and tell the world”</p><p>Jongho knew that Mingi was joking, trying to lighten the mood but Jongho did think about it seriously.</p><p>“I will” he said “I will…”</p><p>He totally missed the way Song Mingi looked at him with a mixture of amusement and growing admiration, smiling a bit.</p><p>San got out of the bathroom and quietly stood next to Mingi, staring out at the clear field. Jongho looked deep in thought, Mingi was still smiling and he just couldn’t bring himself to burst their bubble, in which they looked so at peace.</p><p>The sun was shining, high in the sky, making everything look a little bit more alive.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Days went by in a blink and Choi San had been invited to visit multiple neighbor kingdoms. Jongho had been saddened by his departure but he also knew that it was just part of San’s life.</p><p>Jongho’s mother had organized a goodbye party for him and had later been greatly surprised to learn that Song Mingi would stay.</p><p>That was also the day Jongho learnt something about Mingi.</p><p>Song Mingi was sort of a medicine expert? Plant expert? Healer? What was the word?</p><p>He appeared to be clumsy and rather goofy, almost immature and Jongho had almost choked on his food when Mingi told them that.</p><p>Mingi was fun to be around, Jongho could play around with him and talk to him easily. He was nice.</p><p>Jongho had spent so much time landing playful hits on Mingi, laughing with him, that looking at him like an expert on anything was difficult.</p><p>“With your permission…I’d like to explore your forest. I am sure that I’ll find really interesting things in there”</p><p>Jongho’s father hummed as he chewed on his food “Jongho could go with you. He’s very familiar with the whole island”</p><p>Jongho looked at his dad with wide eyes.</p><p>“That would be awesome, your highness. Thank you.”</p><p>It wasn’t like Jongho didn’t want to spend time with Mingi. They were friends, it was what friends did, right?</p><p>He was just…nervous. For some reason.</p><p>When they were done eating, Mingi excused himself to go write a letter. Jongho didn’t know.</p><p>“He’s a healer, Jongho”</p><p>Jongho frowned at the word. It was so foreign and Jongho didn’t know what it meant.</p><p>“He searches for plants to make medicines. People like him discovered that a flower could be edible and that was how your favorite tea became a thing”</p><p>Jongho looked down at the tea in front of him, mouth open in shock. He looked back at his dad “that’s…really awesome”</p><p>“I don’t know why Mingi isn’t as popular as his brother. He’s such a nice boy” said his mother.</p><p>“He seems like a quiet boy, though. San could talk for days and not get tired”</p><p>“He was so charming!”</p><p>Jongho stared up at space, thinking…</p><p>What else was he missing?</p><p>A sudden sense of ignorance invaded him and he stood up from his chair, gulping down his tea and excusing himself to run to the library.</p><p>The library was his least favorite place in the castle, he barely only was there for his classes and only read the books his tutor told him to. Well, he read them majority of the time.</p><p>Okay, he read them sometimes.</p><p>Jongho found books about human rights, about legendary people, about piracy and healers, plants and even bugs.</p><p>Who could have guessed that the library could be such an interesting place? Certainly not Jongho.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Weren’t we supposed to go back before sunset?” mumbled Jongho, looking around the forest.</p><p>At least they were not lost. Jongho knew they were deep into the forest, because he could see the little house his dad, he and his friends had built when he was fourteen. He knew how to get back from there.</p><p>He was, however, really scared. He didn’t like how the forest looked at night. It was scary, dangerous and it made Jongho get paranoid.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Jongho. Just…give me five minutes, I think I found a little something- ”</p><p>Jongho didn’t understand a word of what Mingi had said.</p><p>“Well, hurry up or you’ll get us both in trouble”</p><p>“Okay, okay- “</p><p>Mingi resurfaced from the hole on the ground and handed a little plant to him. it was small but its roots were long and curly.</p><p>It had also many worms.</p><p>Jongho screamed as he dropped the plant to the ground, shaking his hands above his head.</p><p>“Jongho, what- “</p><p>“Worms! I’m going to die!”</p><p>Mingi got out of the hole and began to shake his clothes. It was useless, of course. The man was entirely covered in soil.</p><p>“Jongho, it was only a worm- “</p><p>“Not one, many! Let’s go back right now or I’ll break your neck” Mingi chuckled “I’m not messing around, I’ll do it!”</p><p>Mingi picked the plant up “okay, let’s go. Lead the way, Jong”</p><p>Jongho started to walk away, trying to not to jump at every little sound. He knew that there weren’t bears in that forest, or wolfs or any other animal that could kill them-</p><p>Well, there were snakes but their bite wasn’t going to kill them, just get them sick for a few days. Jongho should know, he had been bitten many times.</p><p>Besides, he had a torch to illuminate their path and the weather wasn’t too warm yet. That was when the snakes were practically everywhere.</p><p>“Thank you for coming with me, Jongho. I would’ve got lost otherwise”</p><p>Jongho was nervous and scared of the shadows his mind was making up, so he just hummed and kept walking, body tense and stiff.</p><p>A reindeer came from behind a bush, making great noise and running away immediately. They probably scared the poor animal without knowing but it sure scared them back.</p><p>Jongho jumped back, screaming and dropping the torch. Mingi screamed a few really inappropriate words, backing up until he hit a tree, which made him yell again.</p><p>“Stop scaring me!”</p><p>“It wasn’t my fault!”</p><p>Jongho realized that the torch was starting to burn the grass and picked it up, doing his best to extinguish the fire on the ground.</p><p>If the forest burned and it was his fault, it would sure get him kicked out of the kingdom or imprisoned or both.</p><p>“Anyway, we should- “ he swallowed, a hand going up to his own chest “we should keep going”</p><p>Mingi nodded wordlessly and followed him close behind. Jongho turned around and linked arms with alpha, feeling a little bit safer and relieved by the fact that they were both scared out of their minds and it wasn’t just him.</p><p>“You’re- you’re welcome, by the way” he whispered, noticing how his hands were shaking “I had fun until now”</p><p>“I’m glad you did. I was hoping it wasn’t too boring for you”</p><p>“It- it wasn’t. You’re…you’re fun”</p><p>“Kind of getting proud of myself over here” said Mingi, looking around with big eyes.</p><p>“That’s good. You’re- “ he gasped and jumped when a bird flew past them “you’re smart and fun”</p><p>“Compliment me again when we’re safe. I can’t focus on how smart I am when I think I might die”</p><p>“Yeah, good idea”</p><p>They kept going, flinching and yelling at every little sound, quickly making their way out of the forest.</p><p>When they reached the city, that was obviously more illuminated and still full of people, Jongho felt courage to let go of Mingi, letting out a sigh of relief.</p><p>“I’m so glad I wasn’t alone. That forest is a nightmare at this hour”</p><p>“You’re just dramatic”</p><p>Jongho glared at Mingi “I take everything back; you’re mean and annoying and really dumb”</p><p>Mingi laughed, throwing his head back and covering his mouth. Jongho couldn’t help but do the same, just quieter because he didn’t want to draw too much attention.</p><p>“Come on, tell me how handsome I am” said Mingi, elbowing him on the ribs “I know you want to”</p><p>Jongho rolled his eyes “I said you were smart and funny”</p><p>“Thank you but, I must say, I do think I am quite handsome”</p><p>“Oh, yes” Jongho indulged “you are, Mingi. You are.”</p><p>“Thank you!”</p><p>Jongho smiled, rolling his eyes once again. Even if he was indulging the other in that moment, he did think Mingi was handsome.</p><p>He was tall, had a really nice body, a good personality and was a great friend.</p><p>They got to the castle after walking for approximately twenty minutes and his mother, upon seeing Mingi, had sent them both to take a bath or there wouldn’t be any cookies for them.</p><p>Jongho thought it was pretty cruel of her to threaten them like that but what could he do. Exactly nothing.</p><p>Nothing but get cleaned up and run to the kitchen. Luckily, there was no one in there but his mom.</p><p>“So, how was your day with Mingi? Did you have fun?”</p><p>Jongho hummed, taking a cookie from the table “I learnt a few things but I forgot the majority already. Mingi is a nice person to be around- there were worms, though” he grimaced “and I got scared”</p><p>His mother laughed, because that was just the way she chose to comfort him.</p><p>“I would have liked to see that”</p><p>“Mom!”</p><p>“What? It’s totally valid to watch your son suffer a bit and enjoy it!”</p><p>“No, it’s not?”</p><p>She just laughed yet again as he pouted and crossed his arms over his chest, throwing a silent temper tantrum.</p><p>“Here, this letter was sent for you” she said, leaving a white, immaculate envelope on the table.</p><p>Jongho took it at the speed of light and opened it to pull out the folded letter.</p><p>His heart began to beat faster and he looked up at his mom.</p><p>“Come on, read it!”</p><p>Jongho sighed, leaving the letter on the table and rubbing his face roughly “what if they rejected me?”</p><p>“They didn’t. Can you imagine rejecting a little adorable angel like you?”</p><p>“Mom…” he sighed “thank you but if I didn’t make it, I’m going to resolve to being a thieve”</p><p>His mom hummed as she sat in front of him “what are you going to steal, people’s hearts?”</p><p>Jongho took a deep breath and slowly unfolded the letter and found a location and some information.</p><p>“Mom...” he mumbled.</p><p>She, ever the impatient, snatched the letter from his hands and proceeded to yell out “they accepted you! Jongho, you’ll be training officially soon!”</p><p>His mom jumped off her chair and hugged him tightly. Jongho felt like was going to scream and cry and pack the food already. He was more than ready to begin.</p><p>He was ready to snap necks and break limbs and win sword fights and help people but also snap necks.</p><p>Ah, what a dream.</p><p>“Mom” he whispered, like in a daze “will I snap many necks?”</p><p>“Oh, angel. You will and I’m going to be so proud of you”</p><p>Jongho wiped one single tear slipping down his cheek and pulled away from his mom “let’s go tell dad the good news!”</p><p>They ran out of the kitchen, finding Mingi on the way to the library. His mom kept running but Jongho stopped to yell at Mingi’s face.</p><p>“They accepted me! I’m going to be an agent!” he hugged Mingi tightly but shortly “we’ll celebrate later, though- “</p><p>“Jongho, I may not be the smartest but I can tell you this right now” he said, giving Jongho one of his dumb cute smiles “you are going to be a great agent. I believe in you.”</p><p>Jongho took a step back, glaring playfully at the other “why so sentimental all of a sudden?” he said, almost whining but also letting out a little laugh.</p><p>He was not good with sentimental moments.</p><p>“What? I was just doing what friends do! I support you and believe in you and I have to say it”</p><p>Jongho felt his face heating up at Mingi’s words. He got embarrassed out of nowhere and, not knowing what to do, he hit Mingi’s arm and ran to the library.</p><p>Gods, why was he like that?</p><p>Jongho should really…learn how to have sentimental talks.</p><p>Yeah, that would be useful.</p><p>He stormed into the library to find his parent’s eyes already on him. Jongho could see the pride and excitement in their eyes as he ran to hug them.</p><p>Usually, agents in training were out of their homes for two years. They could visit their homes maybe twice a month, with exceptions for agents with mates and children.</p><p>Jongho had neither of them so he would have to live with his visits twice a month.</p><p>“We’ll miss you so much, angel” his mother whispered.</p><p>Gods, he was fighting the tears so hard. He couldn’t cry yet again. Jongho was a man, a man that was about to start his own journey. He couldn’t be crying that much.</p><p>“No matter the outcome, Jongho. Even though we will always pray for the best, if you find that it’s not your place…you can come back, unashamed. This is your home.”</p><p>“I know, dad…” he whispered, choked up.</p><p>And he was crying.</p><p>Even after all his efforts, he was crying again.</p><p>“I will miss you, too”</p><p>That night, they celebrated simply. Drinking that one tea everyone liked and eating a delicious soup the ladies of the kitchen had made.</p><p>Jongho’s parents talked with two guards to accompany Jongho to the city where the recruitment would take place, and helped him pack some food.</p><p>It was a sixteen hours long horse ride, Jongho didn’t have to take his own clothes because he would be given a uniform when he got there.</p><p>Jongho spent his last hours in the castle with Mingi. The alpha told him that he was supposedly afraid of being in his room alone.</p><p>“You’ve been here for weeks and you started to be afraid now?”</p><p>Mingi shrugged, smiling easily “it’s a mystery how the brain works”</p><p>“Right…okay, you can sleep here”</p><p>Jongho laughed quietly and ran to his bed, opening the book he was reading before Mingi decided to show up.</p><p>Mingi closed the door gently and walked up to him, sitting behind him “what are you reading?”</p><p>“Oh, it’s an anonymous book about a pirate’s journey. It’s amazing.”</p><p>The other hummed lowly and stayed quiet. When Jongho looked at him, Mingi was trying to read over his shoulder and struggling while doing it.</p><p>Jongho, out of the kindness of his heart and definitely not because he wanted to get closer to the other, fell back into Mingi’s chest and put the book in a way that Mingi could read comfortably.</p><p>“What a good friend you are, Jong” whispered Mingi, his hot breath on Jongho’s cheek.</p><p>He swallowed with some difficulty, face becoming redder as the seconds passed “shut up…”</p><p>Mingi snorted and went back to focus on the book.</p><p>Jongho wasn’t even trying to read at that point because he was too distracted by the feeling of comfort, of home Mingi’s scent brought him. it was a strange feeling but Jongho would miss it.</p><p>He would miss his friend.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>A year later, Mingi still wasn’t willing to go back to his kingdom.</p><p>Jongho did told him to go home, to stop struggling so much and Mingi wasn’t about to lie to himself or to Jongho.</p><p>He did think about it, because he had been renting a room for over five months and his work as a healer did not give him enough money to pay for anything other than his room.</p><p>San had asked if he wanted their father to help him but Mingi refused. Their father would spend much more money on a ship and a crew to deliver him the ‘help’ than the actual money he would give Mingi.</p><p>Besides, it was a great feeling to be recognized for his work, rather than because he was a prince.</p><p>Mingi was currently living at the city where Jongho was spending his training period. He was well known as Song Mingi the healer, who could recognize any plant or tree or flower. He could, most of the time, help people regain their strength and health.</p><p>He was kind of really proud of himself.</p><p>So, yes. Mingi struggled but he had help.</p><p>Like the lady that owned the rooms. She always asked him if he was okay, was always willing to listen and offhandedly offered food to him.</p><p>Or her son, that was always so excited to accompany him when he traveled to the neighbor cities to make quick exploratory missions. He was always great help and all Mingi had to do was teach him a little bit of what he knew as a healer.</p><p>And, Mingi didn’t want to get too emotional, as he always ended up crying, but his greatest help was seeing Jongho.</p><p>Jongho would go back to his kingdom twice a month for a day or two and then get back. He was permitted to roam the city for a few hours a day.</p><p>He always ended up in Mingi’s room.</p><p>They would read books together, play around for a bit and talk about everything Jongho was learning and the new people Mingi was learning to trust.</p><p>On a bad day, Mingi would be out of the city or Jongho would be too tired and they wouldn’t be able to see each other. Those were the bad days, the days where Mingi would long to hear Jongho’s laugh and see his face.</p><p>Mingi let out a sigh and, with the help of one single candle, he wrote a letter for San. His dear brother, who always worried too much.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>San was already in bed, thinking of what he would do the next day.</p><p>His plans weren’t many, admittedly. He had visited all of his friends, had as many meetings as he could with other kingdoms' rulers, because he knew it was beneficial to have all that support.</p><p>San had worked a lot but now he regretted doing all of that at once. He didn’t have anything to do now.</p><p>The castle felt too somber, too quiet and boring without Mingi there. San missed the feeling of fondness and slight irritation every time he would have to scold Mingi for something.</p><p>A few quiet knocks startled him and he told the person to get in.</p><p>“Prince San, this letter just got delivered.” Said the boy, going closer to hand him the letter.</p><p>It was a letter from Mingi.</p><p>“Thank you” he whispered, already ripping the envelope.</p><p>The boy got out as quiet as he had gotten in but San didn’t pay him much attention. That was Mingi’s first letter in twelve days.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Choi San</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am okay. I’m healthy and doing well so please stop worrying so much.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know you asked me why I’m staying here, where no one knows my name and all I have to survive is my job as a healer. At the time, I didn’t have an answer but I think I may have it now, as I write this letter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I think I may or may not have fallen in love and the sole sight of this person gives me all the strength I need. I want to keep receiving that strength, I want to keep seeing his face every day. I want to stay here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t know if it’s too selfish of me and I apologize if my decision has brought you difficult times. I’m sorry for the hard times that might come because of me but, most of all, I am sorry because I do not feel guilty enough to go back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know you will understand, because you’re Choi San. You have the biggest heart I know and I’ve got a place in it. I know I will go back one day and you will hug me and act like I didn’t make you go through hell.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am always thankful for your existence. I am always missing you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your little bother, who loves you very much and it’s definitely not saying this to bring a little peace to your aching heart.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>San snorted, wiping a single tear off his cheek.</p><p>And he dared to tell people he was the writer of the family when Song Mingi existed.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>One year is a long time.</p><p>A long time to spend away from home and a long time to hide one’s attraction towards that special someone.</p><p>Mingi felt it under his skin all the time. That itch, that want and need, the longing.</p><p>The worst part was that he could do nothing about it.</p><p>Jongho reminded him that they were friends, that Mingi was the only one with whom he felt comfortable in that big city. He always told Mingi how great of a friend he was.</p><p>Mingi knew he should be grateful, should be happy about the fact that he was that important for Jongho. But as time passed, it was getting harder to be satisfied with the title of Jongho’s friend.</p><p>Mingi built the courage to confess every day, just to feel it evaporate when Jongho looked into his eyes.</p><p>What if Jongho didn’t feel the same? What if he didn’t want to see Mingi ever again?</p><p>Was Mingi willing to lose him?</p><p>No, he was not.</p><p>Jongho was more or less the same. He was still playful, though not as much as before. He was still a sweet boy-</p><p>No, Jongho didn’t look like a boy anymore.</p><p>He hadn’t gained much height but his shoulders became broader, his waist was slim and his hips wide, his thighs were thick and strong and his arms- Gods, those arms.</p><p>Jongho was hot as all hell, confident and strong. Overall, he looked like he could smash Mingi’s head and Mingi didn’t know why the thought made him feel the way it did.</p><p>Mingi thought that he could live with all of his feelings bottled up inside of him as long as that kept Jongho by his side.</p><p>Of course, this thought didn’t last very long.</p><p>Mingi thought he could resist seeing his special someone with another person but, don’t we all?</p><p>They spent three days without seeing each other and Mingi was starting to worry.</p><p>Mingi had woken up the fourth day with the intention of going to the base where all the agents in training were staying, he would ask for Jongho and hopefully get to see him and talk to him.</p><p>He was walking through the market, distractedly eyeing the vegetables and delicious looking fruits, when he saw a familiar body in between the masses.</p><p>It was Jongho, who was clinging to another man’s arm.</p><p>Now, all Mingi could see was their backs as they slowly walked away and the way Jongho would turn his head to look at the man.</p><p>They were sharing smiles and meaningful looks and Mingi could feel his heart shatter in his chest.</p><p>He turned around and went back to his room, he packed his clothes feeling like he couldn’t breathe and told the lady he would be gone for a couple of days, that he would go look for more medicine.</p><p>The lady gladly landed him a horse, wished him good luck and watched him go.</p><p>Mingi felt…diffused.</p><p>Like he was not completely there riding a horse, like parts of him where scattered everywhere; the market, his room, his home, Jongho’s kingdom. Every place that had ever been meaningful to him.</p><p>Mingi was glad that the strong wind was drying his tears as they fell.</p><p>What would he do now?</p><p>He had stayed more than a year away from home, first to support his friend, that later became the only reason Mingi was strong enough to endure any pain, to make any sacrifice. Big or small, Mingi had made them with Jongho in his mind, always.</p><p>He stopped in a forest that was still foreign to him, so his horse could rest.</p><p>Mingi cursed everything. Got angry at himself, at the gods and at Jongho.</p><p>He kicked the rocks and leaves on the ground, screamed until his throat hurt, punched trees and kept doing it until his fists started to fall apart and everything just hurt too much.</p><p>Later, he scolded himself for being immature and a fool. What exactly did he fix with what he had done?</p><p>The answer was simple. He had fixed nothing.</p><p>Mingi was laying on the ground, crying quietly and his heart had not stopped hurting. He felt tired and sore but nothing changed for the better.</p><p>The memory of Jongho with that man was still in his mind, so painfully clear.</p><p>Mingi wondered if Jongho would ever look at him the way he was looking at that man, jealousy burning his insides like fire.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Jongho was having an intense fight with one of his team partners and he was winning.</p><p>Christopher decided that it was a good moment to appear and Jongho got distracted, giving his opponent a chance to flip them over and put him to eat dust.</p><p>Even if his cheek hurt from it  rubbing on the ground, Jongho still looked at his friend.</p><p>“Okay, alright- you win, you win!” he told the boy, wiggling under him.</p><p>The boy stood up and helped him get up, thanking him for the good fight and walking away to drink water.</p><p>Jongho went to his friend.</p><p>Christopher looked so different from the last time Jongho had seen him, but Jongho could recognize that black curly hair and those dimples anywhere.</p><p>His friend smiled at him and opened his arms to hug him tightly.</p><p>“I would have never expected to find you here, Jongho”</p><p>“I think the gods wanted us to reunite after you spent so long without showing one single curl in the castle”</p><p>Christopher chuckled and pulled away “I’m sorry about that, my prince”</p><p>“Don’t call me that. Here, I am just a guy training”</p><p>“Alright, fine…do you have some time now? We could go take a walk and you could tell me about what I’ve missed”</p><p>Jongho nodded and went to the leader’s quarters, asking if he could have the evening free. The man let him go easily, as Jongho had spent the last three days training nonstop, also taking the archery classes that were optional.</p><p>“You deserve a little break” said the man, smiling.</p><p>Jongho bowed shortly “thank you so much, sir”</p><p>He was out like a bolt of lightning, practically bouncing as he walked side by side with his friend again.</p><p>Jongho had missed Christopher like he missed childhood days. When nothing could go wrong and everything was fun and games.</p><p>They walked down the dusty city, talking about cities needing support from terra nova’s agents and whatnot.</p><p>Christopher bought an apple at the market and told Jongho to have it, that he didn’t have money on him to buy another but he didn’t care anyway.</p><p>Jongho split the apple in half with his bare hands and gave one half to Christopher, making his friend laugh.</p><p>They linked arms as the walked, there was too many people and they were forced to stick together. Also, Jongho didn’t want to get lost, so he clung to Christopher’s arm for dear life.</p><p>“So, you’re my superior, then?”</p><p>Christopher hummed “not exactly. I’ve just spent longer training”</p><p>“That’s good, you wouldn’t let me live if you were superior”</p><p>Christopher laughed and proceeded to tell him that, in another cities, they were having a shortage of agents and it was probable that leaders from other bases would need people from the city.</p><p>“I think they will choose the ones they think are ready and send them to different kingdoms, where trouble doesn’t stop”</p><p>Jongho thought about the new information for a minute. Did that mean that there was a chance for him to become an official agent? Was he ready to travel porting his kingdom’s emblem, serving in the name of the king and the queen?</p><p>Was he ready to honor his parents and his kingdom?</p><p>He was conflicted, wanting to stay and learn more but also wanting to start his journey already.</p><p>That night, he wrote and sent a letter to his parents. He expressed his internal conflict and asked for advice. Then, he sneaked out and ran to Mingi’s place.</p><p>He could feel the excitement bubbling inside of him and making a smile stay on his face all the way. He knocked on the lady’s door and waited until she, wearing her pajamas, opened it.</p><p>“Jongho? You never come this late, is something wrong?”</p><p>He shook his head, still smiling “on the contrary. I just- uh- I need to talk to Mingi”</p><p>“Oh, didn’t he tell you?”</p><p>Jongho’s heart dropped at the confusion on the lady’s face and his smile faded slowly.</p><p>“He’ll be gone for a few days; he’s getting more medicine”</p><p>“Oh, okay…I’ll just go now. I’m sorry for bothering you and good night”</p><p>“Good night, son”</p><p>She smiled at him and closed the door, going back inside and leaving him alone.</p><p>Jongho walked back to the base feeling heavy and confused.</p><p>The next morning, he was called to the leader’s quarters, where he was told that he had been chosen to go serve at a kingdom far away. He was given the option to stay or leave with a new uniform and his kingdom’s emblem.</p><p>He, of course, chose to go.</p><p>Jongho spent the day outside of Mingi’s room, waiting and wishing Mingi would come back. Jongho couldn’t go without seeing him, without apologizing for keeping him from going home-</p><p>Most importantly, Jongho couldn’t go without telling Mingi about the feelings blooming inside of him. He <em>had</em> to tell Mingi that his breath got stuck in his throat every time their eyes met, that his heart belonged to him.</p><p>It was time to go and Jongho didn’t get to say goodbye.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So uh hi.</p><p>I bring you this hoping it's not too bad lmao</p><p>Enjoy!</p><p>MIND THE TAGS it's nothing too extreme but please do.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Mingi decided to write a letter for his friend.</p><p>He spent four days in that forest, eating all he could and thinking of what he would do when he got back. Mingi decided that he would write a letter and give it to Jongho, he couldn’t bring himself to say it to his friend’s face.</p><p>If things went terribly wrong and Jongho decided to erase him from his life, Mingi would go back home and try to forget about Jongho and the pain in his chest that he could already feel.</p><p>He picked up some flowers and plants and went back to the city.</p><p>Mingi was in his room four hours later, writing the letter with the words he spent the entire ride trying to gather, thinking of Jongho.</p><p>He wrote about that itch, that need and want, about the longing.</p><p>Mingi wrote about that moment of pain at the market and about his outburst at the forest, he wished Jongho a happy life in case that man was his special someone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I will always pray for your happiness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And, it hurts to write this, but I will spend my days wishing you would have found your happiness by my side. I don’t mean to make you feel sad or guilty. This is just me trying to tell you how I really feel.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mingi reminded Jongho of that moment they met, how they were a bit awkward at first but quickly became so close that they could spend an entire day messing around, laughing without a worry. He hoped the memories would make Jongho smile.</p><p>Mingi hoped that, even if Jongho chose to hate him, their memories together would be a treasure Jongho would hold close to his chest. Mingi didn’t mind being remembered as a friend, as long as Jongho kept him in his heart.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Please be happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>if I brought a smile to your face and became a light in your days, then I consider myself satisfied and more than happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With love, a heart that is beating just for you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jongho did not have much time to mourn over his broken heart.</p><p>He and the others had boarded a ship for the first time and Jongho was terrified, afraid of dying even before he could start his new life.</p><p>Jongho found himself being not so fond of the sea. He wondered why his father kept going back to it.<br/>
It was dangerous and aggressive, like a giant beast. Besides, Jongho didn’t like that the only times he took a shower was when the waves were so violent that no one slept dry at night.</p><p>Jongho thanked the gods the next time he stepped on land, dreading the fact that he would have to get on that ship again to go back or to travel to another kingdom.</p><p>When he told this to Christopher, his friend just laughed at him.</p><p>“I think I liked it. The adrenaline, the fear- I may become a pirate”</p><p>“Yeah, well. I don’t want to step on a ship ever again”</p><p>They were taken to a base, where they found just five agents and two of them were hurt.</p><p>Jongho overheard the leaders talk about fallen agents, about how there were people organizing to attack them. People that were trying to prove that omegas weren’t fit to protect anyone, that they rather needed to be protected or die at their hands.</p><p>Jongho realized that his life was at risk, that he was about to live in the real world.</p><p>Doubt started to creep up his mind but Jongho didn’t let it get far. He was confident on his skills, he was strong.</p><p>If he died, he would do it with his kingdom in mind, knowing that he was doing what he worked so hard for. He would die with a purpose and knowing that he had achieved at least one of his goals.</p><p>Christopher looked at him and Jongho found the same determination in his friend’s eyes.</p><p>When they told them to stay in that base, Jongho nodded firmly, not one doubt in his head.</p><p>Jongho’s first night in that city was…uneventful. For the most part, at least.</p><p>Christopher and he were hiding in the darkness, a space between two little houses. Their leader had trusted them to deal just fine with the countryside, warning them about the lack of illumination and telling them that, not far from there, they would be able to find two more agents.</p><p>The sun was warming up their cold bodies with its first rays and they were starting to prepare to go back to the base. Jongho was confused, as their leader had told them that nights were the most dangerous times.</p><p>But nothing had happened.</p><p>As they walked back, sleepily having a whispered conversation, Jongho heard some mumbling. Voices that weren’t theirs. After looking back various times, he figured that he was probably just too tired.</p><p>But then he heard the sound of steps behind them and when he looked back, he saw a man.</p><p>He stopped walking, suddenly wide awake.</p><p>“Excuse me, can we help you?”</p><p>The man snorted “yes, you both can go and cook me a good meal”</p><p>Jongho frowned, while Christopher just rolled his eyes and grabbed Jongho’s arm, pulling him to keep walking.</p><p>“Hey, I’m not done you- “</p><p>“But we are done with you. If you don’t want to get hurt, you better go away” threatened Christopher.</p><p>Jongho’s body tensed as the man slowly walked towards them.</p><p>“And who exactly is going to hurt me? You, a worthless beta? Or this omega?”</p><p>The man’s eyes wandered Jongho’s body, focusing especially on his neck and reached out to touch him but before the man could even land a hand on him, Jongho was already twisting his arm, hearing the man scream and the sound of a bone cracking.</p><p>“I am going to hurt you, fool” he let them man go, watching him fall to the ground “don’t get in our way ever again”</p><p>Jongho turned around and started to walk away quickly, his heart beating in his ears. He was scared, so scared.</p><p>He knew he probably wasn't showing it, but he was terrified.</p><p>“That was awesome, Jongho. You gave that guy a good lesson”</p><p>Jongho forced a smile for his friend.</p><p>The following nights, they did not have the chance to catch their breaths.</p><p>If it wasn’t some alpha with a superiority complex or a group of them, then it was someone they had imprisoned days before, wanting revenge. They had even been attacked by an omega that blamed them for his mate’s hurting body.</p><p>They stopped a robbery, saved a little cat from getting stepped on and Christopher got stabbed, Jongho having to take him back to the base. They were thankfully not far and his friend was okay.</p><p>Jongho cursed for days, because the person that had hurt his friend was out again. Was free and messing with them every time he got the chance.</p><p>He was…tired. He felt stuck and like he was doing nothing to change the city. It wasn’t his fault, he knew that.</p><p>Jongho was frustrated with the laws of that land, wished to have the power to change them, to make every troublemaker regret ever doing something wrong.</p><p>The first months were tough on him.</p><p>Jongho missed simpler times and didn’t like the fact that he had to beat everyone up for them to stop hurting others, for them to stop doing bad things.<br/>
Did he imagine that he would have to fight violence with violence? Yes, but not to that extent. Jongho felt embarrassed of himself for thinking that he would be able to talk them out of their next crime.</p><p>Clearly, no one in there was willing to listen to a dumb omega's words.</p><p>The second half of his first year there was easier to deal with.</p><p>Jongho started to feel less guilty every time he put someone in prison, had less and less doubts as he beat that someone because they had smartly decided to get in their way again.</p><p>And Jongho didn’t know if that was a good thing or not, but it was happening.</p><p>Jongho didn’t regret, didn’t doubt, didn’t feel guilty or saddened. He did what everyone in that base did, he fought and he survived the attacks.</p><p>He was becoming harder to surprise, harder to hurt. He was stronger because of all the struggle. Nothing could hurt him.</p><p>“Did you hear that?”</p><p>Jongho frowned and looked at his friend “no, not r- “</p><p>There it was. A scream, cries of pain.</p><p>Jongho surged forward before he could even understand what he was doing, desperately searching for the source of those heartbreaking cries. He didn’t have to walk too much to find a little house.</p><p>Jongho could see a couple of candles inside, it looked cozy and warm. Except for the person crying inside and the person repeating insults like it was their prayers.</p><p>Just as he was going to kick the door open, he was pulled backwards by his friend.</p><p>“What do you think you’re doing?”</p><p>“I’m going to check inside. Do you hear this person crying? They- “</p><p>“We can’t simply kick our way into a house. It’s not our property. We rule here, outside- “</p><p>“I don’t want to rule, I want to help. Feel free to stay out here if you want”</p><p>Jongho freed himself from his friend’s hold and kicked the door open.</p><p>Not even all the alpha toughs he had dealt with could have prepared him for the sight of a young omega girl, naked, all bruised up, bleeding from various cuts on her body. Her little face was all swollen, her eyes red and Jongho momentarily wondered how long had that girl been suffering.</p><p>Jongho didn’t think much. Really, was there a lot to think?</p><p>He took large steps towards the man at the foot of the bed, grabbed him by the neck and backed him up against a wall, Jongho’s closed fist landing on his face repeatedly. The man was able to land a few hits but Jongho was so blinded by his anger and disgust, that they felt like nothing.</p><p>The man struggled for a bit to get Jongho off him and his fist went right between Jongho’s ribs. Jongho doubled over, out of breath and without thinking twice, he took his dagger out the belt around his waist and stabbed the man in the throat.</p><p>A mortal wound. He wouldn’t survive that.</p><p>“Good journey to hell, bastard”</p><p>Jongho slit the man’s throat from side to side.</p><p>When the adrenaline began to fade and the sticky blood on his hand began to dry, Jongho was hit by the realization of what he had just done. Jongho had killed someone.</p><p>He looked down to his bloody hand and dropped the dagger, turning around to check on the girl.</p><p>“Are- are you okay?” he managed to say “was he your mate? Did he bite you?”</p><p>The girl, looking horrified, shook his head.</p><p>“Okay, alright- I- “</p><p>Christopher was standing at the door, almost like he was paralyzed and Jongho wanted to plead for his friend to stop looking at him like that, like Jongho was a stranger.</p><p>Jongho approached the bed slowly, helping the girl cover herself with the blankets “I’m sorry you had to see that…how old are you?”</p><p>“I’m- I’m fifteen years old” she whispered.</p><p>Why was she going through that at the short age of fifteen? Why would the gods let that happen?</p><p>“Where’s your family?”</p><p>“I don’t know…”</p><p>The girl’s eyes filled with tears, her face contorting with sadness. Jongho swallowed down his own need to cry. She needed someone who was there to comfort her and make her feel safe, not someone that did nothing but cry with her.</p><p>“My parents thought it would be good if I came here with this man. I didn’t want them to feel disappointed so I did what they told me to”</p><p>“Okay…okay…” he whispered, pondering what to do next.</p><p>Jongho turned to his friend, who seemed to see something in his eyes. Christopher only nodded, walked in and picked Jongho’s dagger off the ground, giving it back to him.</p><p>“Whatever you want to do, I will support you. And if they kick us out, then so be it.”</p><p>Jongho snorted quietly and helped the girl stand up, her legs were all bruised and shaky and Jongho doubted she would be able to walk to the base, so he offered to carry her on his back.</p><p>“What will we exactly do?”</p><p>Jongho sighed “I will tell our leader that I killed someone and ask him to help this girl. There must be something he can do. Isn’t he an influential man?”</p><p>“You know, killing will not get you punished”</p><p>“Not in the base. I know I’m allowed to kill in some cases but the laws of this kingdom do punish murder”</p><p>“Well, but, do they really?”</p><p>“I’m- I’m not going to tell anyone” whispered the girl “I’m thankful for your help. You saved my life and if I can help you in some way, I will”</p><p>“Thank you… uh- you didn’t tell me your name”</p><p>Despite all that she had been through, she laughed a bit “I forgot, sorry. I’m Sojun. Park Sojun”</p><p>That laugh…it was eerily familiar. A blurry memory came back to Jongho’s head.</p><p>A memory of messed up small but sharp eyes and a pointy nose, a comforting scent and laughter. So much laughter and joy.</p><p>“I’m Choi Jongho” he replied through his tears.</p><p>It had been so long since he last thought of Mingi, since he last reminisced his scent and heard his laugh in his head over and over. It had been so long since he had smiled genuinely.</p><p>The memories of Song Mingi hurt him deeply, made him want to go out there and look for him. Jongho wanted to apologize, to hear him, touch him. Jongho wanted them to lay down and read a book, silently enjoying each other’s company.</p><p>He didn’t let himself feel too much very often and the thought of Mingi brought his mother and father’s faces to his mind.</p><p>Jongho missed so many things, so many people.</p><p>“Jongho, are you okay?”</p><p>“Of course not, Chris…I just killed someone and suddenly, I miss my parents and- I just- “</p><p>He sniffled, trying to force himself to stop crying. They were getting closer to the base and he didn’t want everyone to see him like that.</p><p>They walked in the base and the leader immediately focused his cold eyes on the girl. Jongho let her down and helped her sit on one of the chairs. Jongho approached the leader and bowed, his eyes tightly closed.</p><p>“I broke into a house and killed a man, sir. I have no excuses- “</p><p>“I’m sorry to interrupt but Jongho did the right thing. That man deserved it.”</p><p>“I am…confused as to why did you think I would punish you. You brought this girl here- “</p><p>“Yes. They helped me. I was going to die and he saved my life” said the girl, desperate “I thought I was dying and he helped me. He saved me, sir.”</p><p>“You’re doing exactly what I was hoping for you to do in these cases. It would’ve been better if you hadn’t stained your hands with blood but we’ve all killed people here- “</p><p>“Not me” said Christopher.</p><p>“- not Christopher. Thank you, both of you deserve to rest right now.”</p><p>Jongho, uncapable of looking at the leader in the eye, just scurried to his room.</p><p>He was confused, not knowing whether this was what he wanted to do. The leader’s words had done nothing to calm the storm inside of him.</p><p>Would he kill more people from that moment on? Would he acquire a thirst for blood?</p><p>The door opened and he was about to tell the person to leave him alone, when Christopher got in with two letters in his hands.</p><p>“These are for you. The leader was going to give them to you but- uh, you know…you stormed out” awkwardly explained his friend.</p><p>Jongho thanked him for the letters and asked to be left alone, to which his friend complied even though it was his room, too.</p><p>One was from his parents. They reminded him that it had been two years already and, even though they were proud of him for living far away on his own, they asked what had kept him from going home the past year at least to visit them for a day or two.</p><p>Gods, how did he even forget to tell them that he had been sent somewhere else? Somewhere further away from them?</p><p>They told him to go back when he could, that they missed him too much already.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It hurts to want to see your face and remember you’re not here, angel.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jongho bit his lower lip and folded the letter carefully. He missed them, too. Jongho missed home.</p><p>He ripped the other envelope. Maybe that letter would be less heartbreaking than his parent’s.</p><p>Jongho was wrong.</p><p>The letter looked old and the paper was all wrinkled and ripped in some parts. The man told him about a love they never got to express.</p><p>Mingi wrote about how Jongho had become his strength, admitted to look at Jongho’s body with different eyes sometimes and apologized for it. That part made Jongho let out a snotty sound, somewhere between a chuckle and a sob.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I know you feel guilty about me being here for you but I only stayed because I knew I would miss you more than I miss home right now. So, don’t feel like that. I made my choice on my own.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mingi described with great detail about a day at the market. Where, as he put it, he could feel his heart break. He wished Jongho a happy life with the man. It took Jongho a while to figure out who was Mingi talking about and when he did, he could help but laugh a bit.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And, it hurts to write this, but I will spend my days wishing you would have found your happiness by my side. I don’t mean to make you feel sad or guilty. This is just me trying to tell you how I really feel.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Happiness was by Mingi’s side. Jongho wanted to tell him that.</p><p>Every time he remembered Mingi, only happiness would come to him like a soft breeze, comforting him, making him smile. Jongho was happy by Mingi’s side.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>With love, a heart that is only beating for you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jongho hugged the letters to his chest, his eyes tightly closed and his heart aching to…to go home. Home with his parents and the memories of easier days, with Mingi and his happiness.</p><p>Jongho realized that he was tired of the fighting, what once had been his dream was becoming his nightmare. Jongho silently mourned the loss of that earnestness, that innocent need to help everyone.</p><p>He wasn’t the same anymore…</p><p>Could that mean that his dreams and goals had changed with him?</p><p>Jongho wanted to go home. Of that he was sure.</p><p>He was tired.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jongho woke up and sat on the bed, letting out a sigh. The letters had been crushed by him.</p><p>He put them in the pockets of his pants and got out of the room to go to their little kitchen. He would probably just drink some milk and be ready to tell the leader about his decision.</p><p>After drinking his milk and eating what was probably everyone’s bread, he walked to the leader’s room. It wasn’t his fault that he was really nervous and eating seemed to calm him a little.</p><p>Jongho took a deep breath and knocked on the leader’s door. He waited for a moment but no answer came. Jongho started to tap his foot on the floor, nervously looking around.</p><p>He was about to knock again but the door opened, the leader and a man came out.</p><p>Jongho just stood there, paralyzed as the leader patted his back.</p><p>“This is Choi Jongho, he saved Park Sojun a few hours ago” said the leader, clearly proud “this is Eden, he’s the founder of a secret organization. It’s new but it’s showing good results already. He’s helping omegas- “</p><p>“Oh, it’s not just me- “</p><p>“Leader, I’ve got something to- “</p><p>“Let’s go see Sojun. She wanted to thank you personally, Jongho”</p><p>Jongho sighed and let the leader drag him to one of the rooms, where there were at least three healers and Park Sojun laying on a bed, letting them do their job.</p><p>He smiled at her. She looked better already.</p><p>“You look…”</p><p>“Less dead” she snorted “I feel like it, too…thanks to you”</p><p>Her big brown eyes held gratefulness and something akin to admiration. Jongho didn’t know.</p><p>He didn’t know if he deserved it.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re okay, Sojun”</p><p>They didn’t talk much but she took his hand and held it gently, not letting him go as she talked with the man. Eden, if he remembered right.</p><p>He offered to take her back to her home, to her family and Sojun refused. She insisted on assuring Eden that her family wasn’t much better, that if the gods had given her a chance to change her life for the better then she was going to take it.</p><p>Eden, looking conflicted as he smiled at her, told her that he could find her a place to stay and keep her safe, could even find her a job if she wanted.</p><p>“That would be good. I don’t know much about…anything, really” she said, embarrassed “but I can learn”</p><p>Jongho gave her soft hand a little squeeze, smiling widely when she looked up at him “I like the way you think”</p><p>“And I like…you!”</p><p>They laughed, like they were in their own little world. She looked so different. It was true that she was all bandaged up, still bruised but her eyes just…shone in a way that made her whole face lit up.</p><p>She left them for a better life a couple of hours later and Jongho didn’t get to say goodbye. It was unfair.</p><p>He knew that she was grateful and that she thought of him as sort of a savior, an angel that came from above to save her but she didn’t know how grateful Jongho was of her.</p><p>Jongho was grateful for her smiles and her shining eyes, that seemed to give him a little bit of strength to keep going and to understand that he wasn’t going to save everyone in the blink of an eye.</p><p>Jongho wasn’t going to save everyone, he wasn’t going to change the world by the cheer strength of his fist, nor by using his skills with any weapon. The world was too wide to be changed by just one person.</p><p>It was true that he could help, be at what he thought was the right side of things but it was a slow process. Very slow.</p><p>“You know what were the leader’s new orders?”</p><p>Jongho snapped out of his own head to look up at Chris. He shook his head.</p><p>“He told me to support you if you want to kick down somebody’s door- well, he told everyone to kick down doors if necessary and I overheard him talking with this Eden man. They are going to have a meeting with the king, to discuss the current laws or…something like that.” Christopher shrugged.</p><p>A smile appeared on Jongho’s somber face.</p><p>Small changes.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jongho hated ships.</p><p>He hated everything about the sea. It was beautiful, very beautiful but Jongho didn’t appreciate its wildness.</p><p>Also, who would like to be wet all the time. Not Jongho.</p><p>Jongho stepped on land and fought with himself to not to kneel down and kiss the ground. Instead, he went straight to the base where it all began.</p><p>Jongho was excited, as he was only a sixteen hours horse ride away from home.</p><p>On his way to the base, he passed a very familiar house. If he was stronger, he would’ve just kept going.</p><p>He knocked on the wooden door and waited for the lady to come out. He took several deep breaths to calm himself.</p><p>“Yes? Who’s- Jongho?”</p><p>“Hi, uh- um, is Mingi in his room?”</p><p>Her eyes fell and her smile faded. Why wasn’t she smiling anymore, why didn’t she look excited anymore?</p><p>“Oh, dear…” she mumbled, reaching out to gently pat his shoulder “I’m sorry but…Mingi left months ago. He went back home.”</p><p>Jongho stood there, silent.</p><p>Didn’t Mingi thought that Jongho would come back and would want to find him exactly where he was the last time they saw each other?</p><p>Didn’t Mingi’s heart beat only for him?</p><p>“Jongho, dear…why are you- “</p><p>“Oh, uh- it’s okay, thank you. Have a good day.”</p><p>She looked like she wanted to say something more but Jongho quickly walked away.</p><p>It was a year, not a month. It was obvious that Mingi wouldn’t wait. Jongho wouldn’t have waited, either. It was just…</p><p>Just…</p><p>Wrong.</p><p>If Jongho ever had a partner, he thought it would be Mingi.</p><p>Mingi was nice and respectful, intelligent, funny, willing to mess around with him. Mingi was tall, had a pointy nose that Jongho adored, small eyes and pretty lips and-</p><p>And Jongho just liked all of what Mingi was. All that Mingi showed to him, Jongho liked it.</p><p>Jongho sat behind a tree, sobbing quietly and pulled the letters out of his pocket, messily unfolding Mingi’s. He read it multiple times.</p><p>He didn’t know why his heart broke a little bit more each time.</p><p>It had been a long time. Nothing made sense.</p><p>After a while, he stood up and dried his tears with the dirty sleeves of his shirt.</p><p>Jongho bought a horse and began his little trip back home.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The first thing Jongho noticed as he stepped into the castle, was the smell of his mother’s cookies.</p><p>He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the smell of home and began to sing a song Christopher used to sing back at the base. Jongho hated his friend for singing it in the worst situations but it had, admittedly, gotten stuck in his head.</p><p>First, he saw his father come out of the library, frowning and looking like he would kick him. Jongho watched his eyes widen and fill with tears.</p><p>“Oh, gods…Jongho, you’re back!”</p><p>Jongho snorted and didn’t have to wait much longer to have his dad squeezing the air out of him.</p><p>“I almost didn’t recognize you- oh, gods. How have you been? No, wait. Let’s go see your mother”</p><p>His dad pulled away and kissed Jongho’s forehead, proceeding to drag him to the kitchen. On the way there, Jongho noticed the changes in the decoration of the castle and the lack of family portraits on the walls, which were replaced by his mother’s paintings of forests and Jongho’s face.</p><p>It was weird to see himself everywhere but Jongho figured it was his mom’s way to cope with missing him.</p><p>Suddenly, Jongho wished he had something for his parents. A gift, big or small. Anything.</p><p>His dad made him sit on one of the chairs and sat next to him, his mother nowhere in sight.</p><p>“Oh? I thought she was here?” mumbled his father.</p><p>“Honey, someone left a horse outside. I am this close to kicking their- “</p><p>She stopped right at the door of the kitchen as Jongho turned to look at her. She just gave a little gasp and jumped at him, almost making him fall off his chair.</p><p>“You’re here, my precious angel!”</p><p>Jongho told them what he had been up to, what he had done those two years of sudden changes, of feelings and fights. He hesitated to mention his feelings for Song Mingi and how his feelings were reciprocated at some point, but that he doubted it had stayed the same after a whole year of not seeing each other.</p><p>His parents, still shredding tears of joy, told Jongho a story he had never heard before. The story of how they came to be, how his mother would wait for his father even if he was gone for as long as two years, how they would still love each other like they had never been apart.</p><p>It was a lovely story and watching them share meaningful looks was something Jongho wished to have in the future but it was different with Mingi and him.</p><p>They weren’t mates, they didn’t even have the chance to build a romantic relationship. They were just friends.</p><p>Until the last day they saw each other, they were just friends.</p><p>“I think you should talk to him” mumbled his dad “that way, you can get your feelings out of your chest and just get it over with. We’ll be here for you if things get ugly”</p><p>Jongho sighed as he let his mom pull him closer to lean his head on her chest “you’re right, I guess…”</p><p>“Well, honey, isn’t it just perfect that we invited Choi San here a few days ago?"</p><p>“What?” chided Jongho, pulling away to look at his mom with wide eyes “mom- “</p><p>“If Song Mingi happens to come, I mean…wouldn’t it be a great opportunity for you?” she shrugged slightly.</p><p>Jongho fell forward on the table, whining “my nerves won’t survive this”</p><p>“You’re so dramatic”</p><p>“Yes- oh, also how did you get that scar? And this one? Oh, gods- why do you have so many scars?”</p><p>Jongho distracted himself explaining his parents the cause of every one of his scars. Nothing too exciting, majority of them were from when he was still training.</p><p>Jongho just wanted to stop thinking that he would probably get to see Song Mingi’s face again.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Days were long and calm. Nights were spent eating cakes and cookies, drinking tea while they filled in the silences with stories of that year Jongho spent away and memories of when they were all younger.</p><p>Jongho found that yes, days could get a little bit boring but Jongho was grateful of the calmness of his current life style. It had been exactly fifteen days since he returned home and he didn’t think he was going to leave any time soon.</p><p>He had sent a letter to Christopher but he wasn’t getting any response. He hoped his friend was alright.</p><p>Jongho woke up one day to hear is mother loudly talking while she ran outside his room. She was rambling something about fixing two rooms and preparing cookies.</p><p>Jongho jumped out of his bed and ran to his window just in time to see Choi San descend from his horse, following close behind was Song Mingi.</p><p>Jongho’s breathe quickened as he took slow steps backwards.</p><p>Why was he feeling like that? Like his heart was going to explode?</p><p>Jongho ran out of his room and to one of the back doors. Barefoot, he continued to run through the field and into the forest. No one would look for him there.</p><p>Maybe his parents would just think he went outside to take a walk or something.</p><p>He hoped so.</p><p>Jongho felt like he was going to burst, his face red, out of breath as he ran. He didn’t want to stop or look back, didn’t want to face Mingi.</p><p>In all honesty, Jongho wanted to see Mingi and apologize for something he barely remembered feeling terrible about. Jongho wanted to confess.</p><p>He knew they had felt something for each other in the past-</p><p>Well, maybe Jongho still felt something for Mingi. So, what if Mingi didn’t?</p><p>What if Mingi had gotten over his feelings for Jongho? What if he couldn’t even be Jongho’s friend?</p><p>In that moment, as Jongho kept running, he realized just how many unfounded fears his mind was bearing, that his heart beating that fast wasn’t just because of the strain he was making his body go through.</p><p>He was scared. Tremendously so.</p><p>Jongho fell to his knees, wheezing and feeling an intense pain on one of his sides. He looked up to see that he was a few steps away from the little old house his dad had helped them build.</p><p>He didn’t hesitate to walk into it as soon as he recovered his breath, wanting nothing but to hide for a while. Until Mingi was far away again and he had an excuse to delay their encounter.</p><p>Jongho sat on the ground, looking up at the spiders on the corners of the little house and the holes on the poorly built ceiling. Jongho remembered messing around more than actually trying to build something decent, whereas Christopher and some of his friends really did their best that day.</p><p>Jongho smiled rather bitterly, of course. He used to be so playful, so carefree. Jongho didn’t really know if he missed being like that.</p><p>In a world like theirs, it was hard to stay playful and carefree.</p><p>Jongho let out a little sigh and laid down on the dirty ground, closing his eyes and just taking in how calm everything around him was. Maybe he would stay there until Mingi was gone, it wasn’t that bad of a place to live for a few days.</p><p>Jongho was so close to falling asleep, lured by the birds singing and the wind blowing gently outside-</p><p>“Prince Jongho?”</p><p>He was startled awake and saw one of the ladies that worked on the castle kneeling at the house’s little door.</p><p>“Oh, gods…I- hello?”</p><p>She smiled “why did I see a little prince run into the forest like the devil was chasing him?”</p><p>Jongho sat on the ground, taking a deep breath, not meeting the lady’s eyes “I guess…I just wanted to be alone”</p><p>“Yeah…that doesn’t explain why you were running like a thief, wearing your pajamas and barefoot”</p><p>Jongho didn’t say a word.</p><p>“We can go back and I’ll let you eat your mother’s cookies or…you can go back and dress properly, then come back here, if you want”</p><p>“You won’t leave, right?”</p><p>“Of course not”</p><p>Jongho let out a sigh and got out of the little house, following her back to the castle. Maybe it was for the better, to just get it over with quickly.</p><p>Then, Jongho would have all the time in the world to go back to that little house and cry for a while. Maybe.</p><p>It took them a while to get to the castle, partly because of the lady’s calm pace but mostly because Jongho kept stopping with the excuse of being really tired or his aching feet. Which wasn’t completely a lie, his feet did hurt but not enough to stop every two minutes.</p><p>They got in the kitchen and he sat down, he drank the milk the lady was offering to him and ate three of his mother’s cookies. They were delicious, as always.</p><p>“I think you should go change, prince” gently said the lady “it’s just a suggestion, though”</p><p>“No, yeah. I should probably- “</p><p>“In all honesty, I don’t know where Jongho is but- oh, here he is” said her mother, entering the kitchen followed by his dad, Choi San and Mingi “this is perfect, we can all have breakfast in here!”</p><p>Gods, his mother sounded so happy and there Jongho was, pale like a corpse, eyes glued to the tall figure in front of him.</p><p>Mingi didn’t look any different. His hair was a bit longer, maybe but he looked exactly the same.</p><p>It was somewhat relieving, for some reason.</p><p>“Jongho, hi! When your mother told us you were back, I was so excited!” happily chirped San, urging forward to hug him.</p><p>Jongho forced himself to snap out of his Mingi induced daze and hugged San back just as tight. Seeing San again was good. San was a great friend, someone Jongho trusted and liked to have around.</p><p>“You look so different, it’s almost unbelievable…” mumbled San, cupping Jongho’s face.</p><p>“Why is everyone saying that? I didn’t change that much”</p><p>“No, you definitely did” said Mingi, smiling softly as he came forward and hugged Jongho as well.</p><p>Jongho…stopped breathing for a while, his heart beating so hard it felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He pulled away harsher than necessary and walked out of the kitchen mumbling something about changing his clothes.</p><p>That was embarrassing and awkward.</p><p>Jongho whined as he covered his hot face with his hands. Mingi had smiled so beautifully at him, had been so gentle as he put his arms around Jongho and he had not let himself enjoy it, his body was stiff and he was holding his breath. He didn’t even let himself smell Mingi’s scent, that used to bring him so much comfort.</p><p>He got into his room and took off his pants, leaving them on the floor and as he proceeded to take off his shirt. Something made him stop halfway, though.</p><p>The front of his shirt…it smelled a bit like Mingi.<br/>
Jongho stood there, sniffing the shirt for a while and then decided that he was being a little bit weird, so he stopped and finished getting clean clothes on. He took a deep breath, pondering his options.</p><p>He couldn’t just stay in his room; it would be weird and his parents would scold him for being rude. He couldn’t just go out and talk to Mingi like his sharp eyes and beautiful smile didn't make Jongho’s heart beat like crazy.</p><p>After a few minutes, he just decided that he could go out there and behave mildly normal. He could do it.<br/>
Jongho opened his door and let out a little yell at the person standing there, his hand up like he was about to knock.</p><p>“Gods, you…you scared me, Mingi”</p><p>“Oh, sorry. I just wanted to ask you if you want to go out for a walk with me and San. We’re going to buy a few books and other things- “</p><p>“I’d- I’d love to!” Jongho smiled awkwardly.</p><p>“Great, perfect…uh, let’s go get breakfast?”</p><p>Gods, why were they so awkward? That never happened before with them. Their conversations were always so natural, so easy.</p><p>“Yeah, okay”</p><p>Jongho got out of his room and closed the door, following Mingi back to the kitchen. They walked slowly, in silence.</p><p>“So…isn’t your partner with you?”</p><p>“Yeah, well…the person you saw me with was my best friend and no, he isn’t with me- “</p><p>“Oh, I’m glad you see him as a best friend, too. You must trust him a lot- “</p><p>“Mingi, he was not my partner. I am not in a relationship right now.” He firmly said, hoping Mingi would finally understand what he was trying to say.</p><p>“Me neither- I mean, uh- that’s good? I mean, only if it’s your choice- “ Mingi looked at him with wide eyes “wait, does this mean that you read my letter?”</p><p>“I- yeah, I did”</p><p>“So, you know how I feel…”</p><p>Jongho scratched the back of his neck, his face reddening “I do, Mingi but…I never got to tell you how I felt”</p><p> Mingi nodded slowly, his face becoming somber and serious “I don’t want to know how you felt in the past, Jongho. Please just…let’s just be friends, okay?”</p><p>Jongho was going to say something but Mingi rushed into the kitchen, not looking back, without waiting for him or wanting to hear what Jongho had to say. Which did not sit well with Jongho, obviously.</p><p>“Song Mingi!” he yelled, going into the kitchen as well. Everyone was looking at him. “do you really don't want to hear that I missed you with every fiber of my body? That I cried every time I remembered your stupid face? That I-“ he gulped. He knew every pair of eyes was on them, but Jongho could only look at Mingi and Mingi could only look at him. “are you not interested in knowing how I felt and how I still feel? Because I loved you a year ago and I love you now, stupid!”</p><p>Jongho's mother was sitting there with her mouth wide open and so was his dad but San…</p><p>San was smiling knowingly, like he knew it was a matter of time and a bit of courage.</p><p>“Are you being honest?”</p><p>Jongho glared at Mingi, felling his lower lip quiver and tears already gather in his eyes “if you ever doubt me again, I will break both your arms" he sniffed, his voice coming out weak and broken “of course I’m being honest, Mingi”</p><p>Jongho could tell that Mingi was about to cry, as he was blinking rapidly as he looked up, avoiding Jongho's eyes.</p><p>It was a bit awkward and Jongho did the first thing that came to his mind, which was hugging Mingi tightly.</p><p>Now, Jongho wasn't a sentimental person but hearing Mingi sob on his shoulder as his long arms wrapped around Jongho's body, was what made him finally break. He held onto Mingi's body like he held onto the mast of that one ship as he came back home.</p><p>Jongho held onto Mingi like his life was on the line.</p><p>And then, he realized that Mingi was the one. Maybe they would never mate, maybe they just weren't made for each other but Jongho knew he would always remember Mingi and the ways he made Jongho feel so many different things.</p><p>Jongho took a step back to dry his face but he made the mistake of looking into Mingi's gentle eyes and gods, they were full of something so strong and so beautiful –</p><p>They kissed in front of Jongho's parents and San, who had started cheering at some point.</p><p>“After a whole year?” whispered Mingi, his hot breath reaching Jongho's face.</p><p>Jongho only could only nod, he could feel a trillion words getting stuck in his throat. After a bit of thinking how could he expresses himself, he decided that kissing Mingi again was the best way to say everything, without actually embarrassing himself too much.</p><p>When they turned to the people at the table, Jongho flinched slightly and Mingi made an hissing sound.<br/>
San was smiling so wide, it looked like it took ninety percent of his face, while Jongho's parents showed surprised expressions. Jongho cleared his throat, finally letting go of Mingi.</p><p>His mother was the first one to stand up, going to hug both of them while yelling how happy she was.</p><p>It took them one night together, reading a book on Jongho's bed, to understand that they couldn't be apart again and two weeks later, when Mingi and San had to go back to their kingdom, Jongho had to make the hardest decision yet.</p><p>Jongho took Mingi's hand and went with him.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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